oh how I love Disney

Today I went online and purchased a ticket to a magical fantasy land called Disneyworld. For $342, I can and will enter 4 theme parks for 7 glorious days. And I'm not even posting it on facebook.  Do you know why?  Because Facebook is the lamest thing I've ever encountered and I HATE it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wish everyone would see it as it truly is and quit boring everyone with their BORING lives!!!!!!Get a clue, dude!! I don't care if you just painted your closet, took a nap, pitched a tent, or baked a loaf of bread!! Just quit boring the shit out of me.....please, for the love of God, get a life.  Or, get a dog and name it Life....then maybe you'll have one. While I'm waiting for that, I'll be in Florida enjoying all that Disney can do for me.  And in case you don't know, Walt said, "If you can dream it, you can achieve it."  So everyone, get out there and do something really cool.  Be your authentic self and get the hell off facebook, aka., "LameBook"....PS. Cool people are way too busy enjoying life and doing way cool stuff to ever have time to go on facebook. 

The last lonely pile of snow finally melted.  I saw it just last week lurking in the woods by our parking lot.  Several days of rain played a major role in bringing the first hint of spring.  A few brave daffodils and crocuses are blooming and the weather pronosticators are promising temps in the 50's.  We've been lied to before so I'm not making any fair weather plans just yet.  In fact, my long awaited Bahama cruise begins on Monday and I have the good fortune to fly out of the cold and dampness in 3 days.  When I get back from 85 degree weather, the people here will be bragging about the one day of sunshine they had that produced 61 degrees.  Wow!!   But within the confines of MicroWorld, it's always 80 plus degrees.  The seasons are merely pictures we look at through our windows, as one day flows into the next on our weekly schedule of samesness. 

Granny's Got a Car..or, Maine in the Rearview Mirror

I found every granny's dream car....a cadillac!  Now for the road trip to Maine to look at real estate.  For curiosity's sake, I looked up today's temperature in Westfield, Maine, the town my Dad was born in and where I lived as an infant.  It's April and it's 19 degrees! Do they know it's spring and most kids are on Spring Break!  We are still looking at piles of lingering snow but at least the temps are in the 40's during the day and little shoots of early spring flowers are desperately pushing their way through the soil.  The roadtrip to Maine has been replaced with a Bahama cruise.  Only 20 days before embarkation.  But that is not a roadtrip.  Besides, I need to test my heated seats, cruise control settings, and introduce myself to my Onstar Virtual Advisor.  MicroWorld residents are pushing me out the door.  My vehicle purchase choice has won everyone's approval and peaked conversations of bygone vacations.  Since many of our residents live vicariously through Granny Ray, it's my obligation to the hit the highway and bring back tales of adventure.  Today's roadtrip will be a visit to Frank Pepe's Pizzeria in New Haven, CT.  I saw this place on the TV show, "Diners and Dives".  It opened in 1925 and before that, Frank Pepe was selling his "tomato pies" on the street.  The reality of the trip today will be an uneventful and boring interstate 91 drive to New Haven and following our mapquest directions to the restaurant.  We will park, order and eat pizza and leave with our own opinions of this "best pizza in the world".  But MicroWorld will be treated to a tale worthy of it's own movie.  Check the upcoming blog and read all about "Cadillac Granny and the Pizza Pie".....or "Cabin Fever Road Trip to Binge Eating".  As for real estate in Maine.....There is a reason it's so reasonably priced.  This Granny is going to point her 8 cyclinders south.

April Fools! or It's Not Nice to Fool Mother Nature

     Well it's April first again and all day long the halls and walls of MicroWorld will be ringing with "April Fools!", as the inhabitants try to trick and outsmart one another.  But Mother Nature has a little trick of her own this morning.  Once again our lawns and trees are covered with the fluffy white stuff.  Come on!  A few brave daffodill leaves are cautiously peeking out of the ground and some overly eager crocus tried to jump-start Spring, but Mother Nature is having a big laugh today.  Don't try the old line, "Hey look outside, It's snowing!...April Fool's!"  Mother Nature beat you to it and stole your best joke of the day.  You'll just have to use, "Hey look, your shoe is untied"....too bad, so lame. By the way, I plan to avoid all the banality and go shopping. 

face book is still lame book

You know, I keep trying to "do facebook", I really do.  But everyone's comments are just so awfully boring! We are ever so truly a nation of sheep without an intelligent, original thought, ever.  God! After reading a few lines, I just have to log off to get my skin to stop crawling.  Thoreau was so right when he said that most men lead lives of quiet desperation.  And no one (except an elite few) know that what you think about and what you talk about and what you focus on is what you attract into your life.  You are always creating your future.  Look at your life this moment.  It is exactly what you were focusing on, worrrying about, talking about, thinking about, in the not too distant past.  People!  quit being so mundane, boring, and vision-less.  Your life is the sum-total of your choices; the hundreds of choices you make everyday. Your life is the culmination of all your thoughts that occupy your mind everyday.  Don't fool yourself.  Your thoughts are more powerful than you realize.  Think about this:  every thing that you see around you, tangible and intangible, was once a thought in someone's mind.  So if you want something, think about it, dream about it, imagine yourself having it, living it, and you will draw it to you.  Also know that without a doubt, You Will Live at the Standard that YOU set for Yourself!..Do Not accept second best.  Do NOT settle for anything less that what truly makes you happy.  By the way, I just bought a cadillac today. It is beautiful and stunning.  I paid $5,000 for it although it is worth far more.  When I signed the bill of sale, I had $1.64 in my bank account. But I wanted this car and focused on owning it.  I pictured myself owning it and began feeling happy and excited.  I told everyone I knew that I had just bought a cadillac.  I went to my bank and applied for a loan and was turned down.  But I still believed that this car was mine.  I applied at another lender and suddenly the car was mine and everything worked out better than I imagined.  The law of attraction really works! It's infallible. It operates throughout the universe and in every human being's life.  It is always working whether you believe it or not.  It's like the law of gravity.  You don't have to believe in it or understand it, but it is always working--IN SPITE OF YOU OR YOUR BELIEFS ABOUT IT. So, stop living limiting lives of boredom and scarcity. THINK abundance and joy and mentally attract it to yourself.  BTW, you can stop boring everyone on facebook and have something fun and inspiring to talk about.  Because, I swear, if any of you make anymore comments about your pets, or how you need a bath, a nap, or anything else like that.....I will come to your house and set YOU on fire!  Now just stop it please! Insanity is a prison.  Free yourself and experience the Joie D'Vivre.

The Get Away Plan

For most of us, some of our best times happened spontaneously, accidentally even.  I love those memories and yes, the stories got better over time.  But I will have to tell you, better times are carefully planned....right down to the limo.  Of course we all know that if you book a cruise you will have a wonderful, planned vacation.  Because after all, you will have a perky, energetic, bouncing Cruise Director to make sure that you do.  But what if your good time is entirely in your own hands...your own sweating palms, gripping the steering wheel in Clark Griswald style, down the vacation highway to hell?  For some, like Clark, it's an adventure.  I agree that unpleasant surprises are adventures, but a girl's get-away trip to celebrate my birthday needs some flair and glam.  Las Vegas, Niagra Falls, and Mohegan Sun were all considered.  But that was just the obvious surface scratching.  We are self-styled, confident, independent women who do not have time for scrapbooking our fantasies.  We plan to carry them out like true pampered pooches (rich bitches).   Well, enough bravado talk.  It's time to unveil "The Plan".  We are flying non-stop to Ft. Lauderdale. When we exit the airport, a limo will be waiting to offer us a glass of champagne and drive us to the Hilton Beach Resort.  After we check in, we will return to our waiting limo and go to the Hollywood Casino for an afternoon and early evening of gambling, shopping, and dining.  When we return to the hotel we will enjoy a cocktail in the hotel lounge before changing into our swimsuits and going to the hot tub to finish both the evening and a bottle of champagne.  Of course we will be sleeping in late the next morning and ordering room service for breakfast.  We have reserved a cabana by the pool for the day which has it's own refrigerator and TV.  The pool is heated, there is, of course, the hot tub right by, and a wonderful pool bar and pool servers to bring us delectable munchies and tantalizing drinks with little umbrellas.  Did I mention we will be overlooking the beach and ocean as we lounge by the pool in our cabana?  We might even take a walk on the beach.  But for true spontaneity, we will wait until a later time to blah, blah, blah, oh no!  You have all fallen asleep!!  What a bedtime story.  I've told this one to the residents of MicroWorld and they ask for it again and again.  Fantasy?  I'll tell you the whole truth when I get back! Would I lie to you, Baby?

Valentine's Day---It Really is All About YOU!

People seem to love to bash Valentine's Day.  They snidely point out it was "invented" by Hallmark.  It's just another ploy to extract money from consumers.  This is probably true, but why ruin your day stewing about economics ?  Today is my free hall pass.  I can dress up in red and get the world's approval, and celebrate on a otherwise bleak and gray winter day.  I even bought myself something special....Chocolate Wine!  I'll spend all day today anticipating it's deliciousness when I open it up tonight.  People who grump about V-Day are looking for someone else to make the day special for them.  Who knows you better than YOU?! Why, you know exactly what you like.  Why let someone botch it up and dissappoint you?  Plan your special day around YOU for a change and then if you don't have a special someone to share it with, invite someone who's company you enjoy.  Remember, if it's all about you, you won't be let down.  Were you hoping for chocolates, jewelery, a canlelit dinner?  Please.....if you are a woman then you know that men simply cannot pull this off competently except in TV commercials.  Did you want Godiva chocolates or Whitman from Walgreen's.  Now I know you want Godiva, but he will go to Walgreen's and then he will drive to Walmart and look around the store in hopeless confusion. Men with secretaries send them to do the shopping and their wives are grateful.
But if your man is shopping and planning a special day SOLO, then do yourself a favor and get involved.   Go shopping!  Buy yourself something that truly brings personal satisfaction.  After all, it is really all about you...just ask him.