Snow Bound Stir Crazy Musings.....

I've had hot flashes now for 12 years and have found the best relief is winter in CT.  When one hits, I merely step outside or open the window.  The -3 degrees brings instant relief and the hot flash is over in a "flash".  Last night (somewhere in the middle) I awoke to that suffocating, sweltering feeling and on automatic pilot I made my way to the window.  What?!  Snowing again?  Why was I even surprised.  But I was shocked!  The snow was a mere 12 inches from my window ledge.  This morning I checked the weather bug (online) and discovered we got another 8 inches last night, and yet another snow storm will be coming in two days.  Ann, who is 80 something, informed me at breakfast that when she was a kid and walked (of course) to school, her mother would warn her not to touch the telephone wires.  When I responded with a dumb blank stare she added, "The snow was almost up to the wires."  I'm hoping that story was one of those that gets more interesting in repeated telling over many years.  I merely raised my eyebrows in mock surprise without additional comments.  Why encourage her?  Visions of fried children were already appearing in my mind.  Ann did not seem to notice my lack of response.  She was happily enjoying the memory while arranging her oxygen bottle on her walker  as she prepared to leave the table.  "Will we be playing Bingo tomorrow?", she asked as she stood up to leave.  Ah Bingo...the pacifier of old age...more comforting than memories and spicier than chili peppers.  When Helen who is nearly deaf as a post,  incessantly asks me to repeat the number I just called, an annoyed groaning ripples through the room.  Ernie, age 100 with great hearing, repeats it in a loud irritated voice.  Helen indignantly protests, "Well I have bad hearing."  But before she can finish, Ernie yells back, "Shut up, let's just play!" This scenario replays throughout the game and at each and every session week after week.  There are always more arguments about choosing the cards, cheating, and taking more prizes from the basket that one truly earned.  But none of this unpleasantness seems to deter the players who attend the sessions as faithfully as seagulls at the beach.  Ugh! Another hot flash coming on...got to run for the window...I promise not to reach out too far and touch the telephone wires.

Iron Bug Attacks MicroWorld

I've been too busy shoveling snow, salting sidewalks, and thawing out my frozen fingers to even come near my beloved soapbox, i.e. blog.  Then the Bug invaded!  That nasty intestinal virus that strikes anyone, anywhere, and at anytime without warning and without respect for your flu shot, vitamins, or clean living. It's "Iron Bug"!  Indomitable! Fearless! and Insidious.  I've been busy re-enacting "Nurse Nancy" , dispensing Pepto Bismol, Maalox, ginger ale, chicken soup and clean sheets.  Each day brings a new casualty.  Tomorrow will bring another snow storm with approximately another 12 inches to add to the already 22 inches on the ground.  People here toggle between two themes: the weather bug and the flu bug.  Both are having an iron grip on us.  But don't you worry about your old Granny Ray.  I've already planned my next escape.  The trick is to stay just one step ahead of mayhem.  The Mohegan Sun is awaiting our arrival and will be providing luxury accommodations for us on February 15th.  Note that this is one (1) day following Valentine's Day.  As I said, "one step ahead."  The price drop was sweeter than Godiva chocolates.  As a show of gratitude we will use the fiduciary difference to invest in several money markets on the casino floor.  We will diversify our funds  because we are smart AND experienced.  Look for the smoke signals reporting our progress.  But for now, I've got to get back to Iron Bug.  Seek and destroy!

You Just Can't Plan a Thing Like That!

Do-gooders everywhere love to visit the elderly.  I've noticed that "they" get a whole lot more out of it than the poor hapless elderly who are subjected to these self-styled ambassadors of mediocre talents.  We have 39 residents (including myself and my husband) here in MicroWorld and several staff members.  Most of our entertainers garner a 6 to 12 person audience.  However, we have our own karaoke system here at MicroWorld and when we are having a dull day I pull it out of the closet and we supply our own entertainment.  Yesterday was the BIG New England snowstorm.  Nobody came near MicroWorld.  The office manager stayed home as well as the hairdresser.  Our administrators were on vacation in Aruba.(Hmmmm), and of course NO ONE ELSE even thought about us.  We were enclosed in a building with only TV's for diversion; and every TV on every channel was covering "The Storm".  By noon, people were bored with it all.  Someone requested karaoke and soon everyone jumped on the band wagon.  I was outnumbered.....Mr. Husband ran for a snowshovel and dug out his truck.  A couple of fish tails, and he was out of the parking lot and on his way to his favorite watering hole.  I set up the PA system, hooked up the karaoke machine, distributed the books, and we all sang our favorite songs. An hour and a half later, I announced that we were finished, collected the microphones and began to wind up the cords.  Everyone left to return to their rooms.......that's when it all became very surreal, but very, very fun.  There I was all alone.  The residents had returned to their rooms.  The cook had returned to the kitchen.  The other staff members had left for the day, and my husband had also left.  The moment was just too tempting.  I could practice a couple of songs, I thought.  I selected a song, began singing.....and here is where it gets weird.  The cook came out of the kitchen and a couple of residents....."I'm just trying out a couple of songs", I explained.  As I sang, more people came out of their rooms and soon there was quite a few people.  Irma started dancing (?) and Paul got up to dance with her!  I have never seen ANY of these people dance!  They are all in their 80's and 90's and most use walkers and canes.  Next, Mark (Mr. Husband) appeared.  His favorite bar was closed because of the snow storm. He sang "The Weight" and "Knockin' on Heaven's Door".  They loved it!!! I was singing contempory country songs.  They loved it!!!

Resolutions 2011

I make the same resolution every year...every year since I turned 50 (eons ago).  That was the year the belly pooch appeared and stubbornly refused to leave.  A few years later the thunder thighs arrived and took up residence right around the corner from the bulbous butt.  Each new year brings new determinism to evict these nasty tenants. My 60th birthday was celebrated with a mother/daughter cruise to the Bahamas and an amazing 140 pound woman went in my place.  Another cruise is being planned with a second daughter and MicroWorld has become all too involved.  Everyone has become my weight-loss guru.  The goal is 30 pounds in 3 months.  Did I mention in an earlier blog that the average age of MicroWorld's residents is 89?  Are you people suffering DEMENTIA?!!!  Hey, I am probably going on this cruise as a matronly matron.  In your mid 60's you have to expect that. But no one is letting me off the hook.  So here I go again with Resolution 2011......lose weight...massive amounts, and be thin and beautiful.  Ah, dreams....what would we do without 'em.   Ok, I will try, and I promise to report my progress.  I have even done the math.  At the unrealistic rate of 2 pounds per week, in 12 weeks I would theoretically lose 24 pounds.  Close, but still no cigar.  But MicroWorld has their new poster child and they wagged disapproving fingers at me as I carried a plate laden with turkey and dressing, swimming in gravy.  "It's for my husband, I swear!" , I repeated loudly.  Since most of them suffer severe hearing loss, I doubt they heard me.  Hey guys, I'm making a new resolution for 2011..to spend my next birthday in Las Vegas with my two daughters and have the time of our lives with or without extra baggage. Can I get an amen! Thank you.